Unfortunately, it seems that Internet "Zen" forums spread mostly ignorance about the basic method of Ch'an meditation.
According to the Southern School, from Hui-Neng onward, the essential Ch'an method is to 1) empty your mind of the usual kinds of thinking, attachments, and mundane concerns; 2) give rise to "Great Doubt" by concentrating with one pointed energy on the question "Who is it here right now?" (or one of its variants) until 3) you attain kensho, sudden direct awakening.
Typically, the Great Doubt erases the question itself and kensho comes in a spontaneous, unexpected way, such as, in the instance of one Ch'an Master's Enlightenment, hearing a dislodged pebble strike a piece of bamboo.
At that moment, one might say, "you" are absolutely present to whatever is being experienced. At the same time, all ideas and expectations about the experience, your "self" or the universe are wholly absent. Happy Re-birthday.
Zen meditation involves all of life: sitting, walking, standing and lying down, sleeping and eating and even lovemaking. It is not limited to plopping your ass down on a zafu or listening to a bald guy in a robe talk about supposedly profound shit. Nor are "emptying the mind," relaxation or stabilization ever considered to be goals in themselves. (This last point is what distinguished the Southern School from the Northern School.)
Practice hard in this direct, clear and energetic way and get kensho. Then you'll be free to live out your life "in a merry and playful samadhi."
Developing some intellectual ideas based on your reading of Zen books, even nice ideas such as that "the mundane and the super-mundane are really just the same," or "ordinary beings are no different from Buddhas," or "there's really nothing to attain," will definitely prevent you from attaining kensho, meaning that you will have missed your chance in this life to "resolve the great matter once and for all." And that would be such a pity!
Don't waste another day or night.
"You cannot use a single drop of the Buddha's wisdom until you have the eye of Kensho." (Hakuin-Zenji).